Old News

 

05/12/2009: Corkscrew time again, my Riders! Because Colonel Nav'ric Trow, former Tempest 1-4 on my own Flight, has been officially confirmed today as our new Flight III Leader by the TCCOM!

My most sincere congratulations on your new deserved position, Colonel. May you command 'Chaos Crew' for many meany seasons and live to tell it. The rest of you, psychos, don't hesitate on giving Nav'ric your congrats too; since he's gonna pay all drinks here for over a month starting today he's gonna need all sick support you can pull out from your undesirable persons! >;-J

 

04/09/2009: And to add insult to the injury here you have a report. Sorry but I couldn't help it. Or was it more that I could help it and what I couldn't help was General Domi here beating the crap out of me with his Wing Commander's baton? Whatever, here I bring you:

"Tempest Blown with the Wind #7"!!! Find it at the "Squadron Reports" section as usual or tell this crazy flag to leave me alone so I can start forwarding the e-mail... X__xU

 

04/08/2009: Seems good news and bad news come together more often than it's healthy to tell... because today we say bye to Commander Vitaru, Flight Leader of Chaos Crew, on his requested retirement to the TIE Corps Reserves. Such an excellent officer and comrade deserves no less than a warm (and DRUNK³) party on his departure along with a nice entry on our "Hall of the Riders".

Vitaru, buddy, we're gonna miss you here! And if you survive and I survive to see the day of your return the first 1,350 pints are on me. ;-)

From now on applications on Tempest Flight III Leadership are being accepted. Just don't forget to include a pic of your girlfriend (not really necessary if you're not a male) and a *GOOD* bottle. Full. :-P

 

04/07/2009: Today Tempest Squadron claims victory over Praetorian Elite Squadron on "Fire Demons vs. Storm Riders!", the competition where both Squadrons were engaged on a challenge. It's as you read, my subdits: WE WIN.

Your NUTS CMDR congratulates you all on the outstanding dedication you put into this and almost blackmails you to keep this activity at the same level on months ahead or face the bitter consequences! And may Palpatine have mercy on whoever dares to challenge The Riders on the Storm ever again. >:D

 

04/02/2009: Ok, people, do you know what is THIS? Well, it's a Manual. A Pilot Manual even! Not only that but it's a TIE Corps Pilot Manual, did you notice? Ooooops, too bad then for that coincidence on names with the Fleet you all belong to alone means you're all hereby ordered to read it and learn its contents to the letter. All thanks shall be forwarded to Vice Admiral Viper Pred, TIE Corps SOO, for doing what he's supposed to do. ^_^

 

04/01/2009: We have two classic monthly titles for Tempest pilots to grab due to their performance and commitment in behalf of The Riders on the Storm... but alas! Only one Tempest pilot to grab both, at least on last March. And as if it wouldn't be enough he dared (the fool bold!) to grab both Wing X monthly titles as well. And "SP Ace of the Month" while he was at it! Therefore (*sigh*), know ye all that thanks to his outstanding performance on last month (not to mention his bribes that topped with no less than a barrel of quality-scotch! :D---) Lt. Commander Dunta Polo, Flight Leader of Heralds of Maelstrom, is hereby known as:

Tempest Pilot of the Month for March '09 ...AND...
Tempest Student of the Month for March '09 ...AND...
Wing X Pilot of the Month for March '09 ...AND...
Challenge Top Gun for March '09 ...AND...
SP Ace of the TIE Corps for March '09

The rest of you, please buy your rotten vegetables at deck 24 and return here to congratulate your Squadron comrade as necessary. >:-P

 

03/29/2009: Resistance is futile... no matter what you do or how do you try to flee, the Tactical Office will provide you reasons enough to go NUTS! Basically, FA Anahorn Dempsey and consorts know no end on their mission designing madness. As the best proof of it, here you have:

XWA-FREE 144: Core Squadron: The Callen by FA Anahorn Dempsey

 

03/29/2009: Sometimes I, as your CMDR, need to speak on your behalf and defend you as necessary no matter what (especially after one of our Wing X parties whenever some Admiral is found -mysteriously- buried under a mountain of drunk furballs, aka. Ewoks). And the rest of the time I speak the bitter truth. Take the following fiction known as...

"Tempest Blown with the Wind #6"!!! as the best proof of it. Find it at the "Squadron Reports" section as usual or try to convince everybody else that you're not half as crazy as I depict you there. Heh... if they want to know about Tempest they're gonna need to read my stuff anyways... Resistance is futile. ^_^

 

03/22/2009: HA! Ender mBind, COL Den Darkhill and other straitjacket usual customers from the Science Office did it again, now with some twisted help from no other than FA Dempsey, EH Tactical Officer, herself. ALL TIE95 and TIECD patches have been updated for usage with the new EHSP Patcher 1.2 (ok, the TIECD ones weren't there before but talking about it would have mean me typing more than necessary and everybody knows I kinda *HATE* typing more than necessary when I can avoid it; well, this time I could definitely avoid it and that's the reason why I didn't mention that TIECD patches weren't there before the EHSP 1.2 versions... *ejem*).

Whatever, find them all at their usual location on the TIE Corps Patch Archive HERE and even install them if you're ready to suffer. Aaaand, remember you'll also need to update all battles/missions using them for the mission files themselves needed to be updated as well to accomodate the new system.

 

03/21/2009: The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet came 1st!! club on "10 Years of XWA - Time to Celebrate!" BSC Multiplayer event!! Not necessary to say such an accomplishment could only be done by a TIE Corps pilot as it's not necessary to say it had to be a Wing X Pilot. Alas! There was *ONLY* one of our pilots participating there: bitter victory I tell you... ¬¬

 

03/21/2009: Merit awards from last February MWE came to Tempest without prompting. And my most sincere congrats shall be upon those of you who proved yerselves worthy of one of those. The list of drunk slackers and shinies is as follows:

COL Daniel Bonini - Imperial Security Medal
COL Nav'ric Trow - Imperial Security Medal
LCM Dunta Polo - The Bronze Star of The Empire!
CM John T. Clark - Imperial Security Medal
CM Vitaru - The Palpatine Crescent
LCM Sergeyli - The Palpatine Crescent
...
The Lieutenant CoRoneR - BEWARE!!!

 

03/20/2009: Our own Jondaar Domi, mighty Wing Commander of Wing X, was promoted today to the coveted rank of General (GN) within the TIE Corps!! This comes as the perfect brooch for a splendid career here on the 'Chal'.

And we cannot do anything but to congratulate you on what we think it was even overdue, and to blackmail you (AGAIN) with those pics of your COL promo party where you appear clearly involved on that "Ewoks & duty pants incident" for you to pay us the insane amount of booze we're going to spend on this happy event. ^_^

 

03/17/2009: Because you didn't ask for it. Because I tend to not pay attention to any request unless it comes from my own will. And because I need to undermine your morale in a weekly basis in order to mantain my own twisted motivation, here I bring you:

"Tempest Blown with the Wind #5"!!! Find it at the "Squadron Reports" section as usual or... or... naaahhh, you're hopeless; just find it at the "Squadron Reports" section as usual. -__-U

 

03/16/2009: Today, Tempest Squadron has been challenged by Praetorian Elite Squadron in a flying competition!! "Fire Demons vs. Storm Riders!" is the name this epic battle will be remembered for in months ahead as...

Our first great victory as a Squadron!! And what a victory, gentlemen, what a victory! Because we're gonna win this one, right? RIGHT?! RIGHT?!!!!!

You'll find all details at "Tempest Blown with the Wind #5" WSR and also at the database competition entry HERE. And I won't say more because there's much to say and this silly news entry wouldn't be enough for all my ranting and jabbering by any means. >.-D-------

 

03/14/2009: I've recieved a $%&¬€ invoice for THIS thing this very morning:

                                                   

Ok, who's the moron who ordered such a glimpse of kistchness?! Speak now or later it will be worse!! >:-P

 

03/12/2009: "Your patience is MINE!" Hehehe, you'll learn to hate this competition title. The Bad Way™ I tell you. Go now and fly TIE-FREE 277: Folly: The Endless Struggle. Then send me your pilotfiles before Saturday, March 28th, and get a nice IS-BW for yourself, or even 2 if you manage to make your CMDR to doom on you more than usual by beating his score! (You'll find such score on next Tempest WSR, but it's strongly reccomended to not read *THAT* and play *THIS* mission the same very day for the sakes of your sanity).

 

03/11/2009: Today we shall provide a warm welcome to all a Wing X old fart!! One of my first Flight Leaders from the time I was Cyclone CMDR, and now back with a vengeance and some nasty will to keep doing exactly the same he was used to do back in the day, here we have a among us...

Lt. Commander Godo Nurok! Now assigned as Tempest 1-3, he has promised his presence will go unnoticed as long as we don't talk too loud while he's sleeping under his trusty Cantina table. We've been waiting for you, Godo! IT'S A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU BACK AGAIN!!!!!...

Ooooooops, sorry. ^_^u

 

03/10/2009: Not a resort! Never an absolution! You have still fresh on your poor minds the infernal crazyness displayed by the last issue and here comes:

"Tempest Blown with the Wind #4"!!! Find it at the "Squadron Reports" section as usual or write one yerselves. You're gonna need to underperform but very badly there for it to contain EVEN LESS useful info than my own version anyways... :_P

 

03/08/2009: Old Wing X MWEs from September and October '08 were finally processed (poor SOO couldn't help it) and "Dempsey's Music Video Mania" EH-wide competition ended today. And hell! Such natural catastrophes wouldn't come without their mandatory rain of shinies for The Riders on the Storm, would they? Therefore...

2 Palpatine Crescents for your deranged CMDR!
2 Imperial Security Medals for LC Murleen, Tempest 2-2!
2 IS-SRs and 3 IS-BRs for CM John T. Clark, Tempest 2-3!
Palpatine Crescent, 2 IS-GRs, 2 IS-SRs and 2 IS-BRs for CM Vitaru, Flight III FL!
Imperial Security Medal for LCM Sergeyli, Tempest 3-2!

 

03/06/2009: The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet raised with VICTORY on XWA Week of War CXVI!! Thanks to the inhuman efforts of that nightmare you've been taught to call your CMDR wining no less than... 3... matches with no apparent losses, the only thing deserving to be called an Imperial Remnant on this particualr version of Matrix regains the Multiplayer laurels again. :-D

Now it's a matter of convincing someone else to accompany The Wicked CMDR of Tempest there. I mean: he has been playing all alone and we have a public image of dignity to mantain... I hope you are not bestowing on *THAT* guy the responsability of doing so...

 

03/06/2009: He did it! He did it... again! Gentlemen, it's time to congratulate Sergeyli, no less than Tempest 3-2, on his deserved promotion to Lieutenant Commander (LCM)! Such a disaster and offense against decency occured today after our esteemed Wing Commander and myself realized his time-on-rank as Lieutenant was already over, his past accomplishments were more than enough to justify this mess and that the guy was still there. Let's see if we can have more luck now... ;-)

Oh, btw, regardless if he's still there or not his first LCM payment is not. Either that or we'll have to pay from our own pockets the insanely amount of booze we're gonna use to celebrate such an event, which is clearly a no-way. >.-J

 

03/04/2009: Yeah, I know, I know... this is not fair... not even a single decade since the last once came to screw up what remains of your poor minds and I happen to be sadistic enough to punish you again with...

"Tempest Blown with the Wind #3"!!! Find it at the "Squadron Reports" section as usual or... or... or don't find it and go read "The Da Vinci Code"!! Do you really think I mind?!! NO! AND NO!!! I'M TIRED OF ALL THIS AND BESIDES...!

...Who... who the hell are you? What are you doing with that th...? No! Not the long-sleeves jacket again!! NO!!! Aaaaaaargh!! HELP MEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

 

03/03/2009: 2 new Tempest competitions for ye to get your monthly metal! Two classics actually so I hope your bryans will be enough to understand the intrincated mechanics behind these two:

"Tempest Pilot of the Month" (PotM): whoever has flown more missions at the end of the month wins. IS-BW for grabs.
"Tempest Student of the Month" (SotM): whoever passes more IWATS Courses at the end of the month wins. IS-BR for grabs.

For further details you can always take a look at the "Competitions" section but I kinda hope you already got an idea after reading this... This is not the 'Warrior' nor the 'Squid-bucket'; we're supposed to understand what we read! >;-)

 

03/02/2009: "The Aftermath of TIE" Tempest-only competition involving flying and a fiction submission ended today with victory for:

Colonel Daniel Bonini, Tempest 1-2, who was fool enough to keep all mission highscores for himself, the greedy vulture... >:P
Commander John T. Clark, Tempest 2-3, who sent in the most complete and ellaborated of the fictions, although I must say all them displayed an excellent quality and the final decission was all a pain-in-you-know-where for me.

You can check out all details on this competition using the link at the new sub-section I've just inagurated at "Competitions" one: "- COMPLETED Tempest Squadron Competitions -" In gold... quite chessy, you'll find it. ;-)

Aaaaaaand... your congrats shall also find their way to the astonishing accomplishments of Lt. Commander Polo, Leader of "Heralds of Maelstrom", and Lieutenant Sergeyli, Tempest 3-2, who got 2nd and 3rd place respectivelly on February "SP Ace of the TIE Corps" Fleet-wide competition. Outstanding, my minions! Keep it up!!

 

02/28/2009: Further indecency from the Science Office in connivence with the Tactical Office! Almost a VSD Sinister mutiny I tell you! xD New BoP EHSP main patch available at the new TC Patch Archive along with ALL its related loose ship patches. Just two things:

A) Old .BAT patches are not useful anymore so feel free to start assassinating them as necessary.
B) You *MUST* have XvT EHSP main patch installed for this one to work.

And, in addition to such nasties we cannot go this week without our traditional new mission/battle. This time the release goes to... (*drumroll*)

XvT-FREE 225: Derrick's Bounty by FA Anahorn Dempsey

 

02/27/2009: Gentlemen, we have a new official patch for Tempest Squadron! Created by Lt. Colonel Tempest (no kidding, believe it or not, that has been always the guy's name :-P) himself, and after having swept the floor with my own version following our little Squadron survey, now you can admire it in its full 256 x 256 glory at either "Chaos Gallery" or "What the...?" sections. Not to mention you're now free to use it on further uniform submissions for the TC database. Yes, dammit! You can get rid of my lame pic already!! >:___D

 

02/26/2009: This new Tempest-only competition "I think therefore I lose" was of the "mind challenge" type. And hell! Seems it was all a success since it was won almost before it was approved by the DEAN! 0_o Oh well... next time I promise to put a few days between approval and comp. starting time if possible. For the time being you cand find on THIS post the involved riddle, and know that Colonel Nav'ric Trow from my "Storm Knights" has been the only one who gave me a completely right answer for it, therefore the winner of this comp. and of a deserved IS-BR.

 

02/23/2009: You saw it coming, didn't you? You tried to run for your pathetic lifes, only to realize that you ALWAYS end returning where you departed from... for further punishment. So tragic... so epic... so far, today I bring you...

"Tempest Blown with the Wind #2"!!! Find it at the "Squadron Reports" section as usual or go and ask some Obama guy who's supposed to fix the world in no time all alone and single-handedly to provide you a copy; know that he actually uses these ones as tactic schemes... :-P

 

02/22/2009: Bring on the (gallons of) Chalquilla, my fellow subdits, because today is a day of celebration for The TIE Corps Fleet as a whole! A new EHSP Installer has been released, along with a new and improved version of XvT EHSP main patch. All this has served as an excellent excuse to inagurate our brand new "Patch Archive" that you'll find here:

http://tc.emperorshammer.org/patcharchive.php

And to add insult to the injury, our esteemed Science Officer, FA Ender mBind, in connivance with COL Den Darkhill, evir coder from hell, is threatening us with releasing the rest of game platform versions! Stay tuned for further blasphemies.

And by Palpatine's sakes... READ THE <CoC CENSORED> READMEs!!!

 

02/21/2009: At last!! At last I've managed to fill almost all remaining gaps on Tempest membership dates of those people at "Hall of the Riders" section! :__D All credit shall go to happy TACcy, Fleet Admiral Dempsey, for sending me all Historic Records backups I requested... well, all she *HAD*, because those from officers who somehow attracted badass Ast-rage™ upon themselves and got suspended within the old database couldn't be retrieved, sorry. Feel free to blame on the aussie following the long-time tradition.

However! If ANY of those officers could provide me those dates you can be sure I'd fill those gaps immediately. What are you waiting for? ^_^

 

02/20/2009: The IWATS Academy is working again! Under the wise guidance of our new DEAN, Vice Admiral Astin, the IWATS system is there again for you to abuse it as you were used to do before. Only a few Courses of all we had are there right now, but the rest (with a few exceptions) will be there eventually. More importantly! The tests themselves are there again as online versions, already implemented in our new database, so in the end you'll hardly notice the difference. In top of all that, it's an honour to announce that ISD Challenge domain has been bestowed the responsability of hosting the Academy itself (except those online tests, of course) with all Course Notes. Find it armed and fully operational here:

http://iwats.isdchallenge.org

And you were thinking you'd need tons of shinies to bloat your IDlines by the book again... Not anymore!! ;-D Oh, btw, "Temporary Links" for IWATS Courses have been deleted for obvious reasons.

 

02/08-15/2009: Believe it or not, TAC's wizardry managed to release up to 3 new battles for us to fly, no less! And all this while she's still working on the new TC database. These are the new suspects:

XvT-TC 132: The Aftermath of Hoth by FA Ender mBind
TIE-FREE 277 : Folly: The Endless Struggle by FA Ender mBind
TIE-TC 240: Survival by FA Anahorn Dempsey

And THESE are what the TAC and consorts are gonna need for their outstanding efforts way beyond the call of duty after such an accomplishment.

 

02/15/2009: I'm proud to announce that Lt. Commander Dunta Polo has been appointed Flight Leader of Flight II, "Heralds of Maelstrom"! LC Murleen was reassigned to Tempest 2-2 FM position given his current RL time constraints. And this makes the final review on our Squadron Roster so now you can play safe on thinking that what you see there will stand. And let me say that since he has been appointed his work as FL has been splendid given the fact that he was one of the latest recruits the TIE Corps accepted a few months ago, when we were still facing our darkest hours. :-D

The downside is the young Lt. Commander may not be used to our well established 'Chal' traditions on promos and appointments, but I'm pretty sure I can count on you to guide him to the Wing X Cantina and explain him the system... in detail... same as usual gentlemen, 95% of his new payment for CMDR, the rest for yerselves. ;-J

 

02/10/2009: 3 years... 3 years have passed since that last news entry by Dan himself and now this. Ummm... if not because Dan is still the same badass CMDR disguised as a simple FM, forever plotting against your guts with that nasty lust for vengeance which adorns each and every past and future CMDR ever you could say it has been an eternity! ;-D Many things have happened at Fleet-level and the TIE Corps that closed this mighty Squadron in 2006 for it was CMDRless when such a situation was a "no-way" is not the TIE Corps that has seen it reopened following the... Great TIE Corps Restructure™ (*/mode spooky ON*)...

Yeah, but if it has been indeed a damned eternity for the rest of the Fleet I couldn't say the same for "The Riders on the Storm" because it has been closed since that very day. It officially reopened the door of its proud quarters about 2 or 3 weeks ago and now here I am performing blasphemies while I come up with a new website. And well, for those of you wondering what is the reason behind this one and the current Cyclone Squadron (recently closed) website being almost identical it's quite easy actually: I made both. Period. That's what happens when you ask a true pilot to do the paperwork so you better face it now or later it will be worse. >:P

And that's it, folks! The glorious Tempest Squadron, old home of quite a funny number of outstanding officers among the Fleet like the Dan dude (former COM, Flight Officer/TIE Corps Commander, Executive Officer and Palpatine knows what else), is marching again towards victory, looking to regain its former glory. And for such a worthy task the Admiralty has chosen no other than The Lieutenant CoRoneR (that one has to be me some way or another) to pilot the boat. The reason behind such a suicidal and ominous executive decission beats me, but the thing, gentlemen, is that now I'm in command and I'll see for all of us to do something useful with our lives here. And that involves displaying an excellent peformance. And drink. That involves sweeping the deck with the prides of whoever dares to challenge us. And drink. That involves serving the ISDII Challenge as WC's Own if possible and the whole Fleet as TCCOM's Own as soon as the title is available again. And drink. That involves all sorts of unhealthy behaviours as the proud Wing X members we're supposed to be. And drink. That involves... doing all this while drunk... which in the end will make it obvious for ye that it involves... TO DRINK³

Therefore I reccomend all of you to be ready. Be VERY ready 'cos the show starts here and now and The Fleet Medical Corps is no more to stop me ever again!! MWHA-MWHA-MWHA (*/mode spooky OFF* <-- for I forgot to deactivate it a couple of paragraphs above ;-P)

...

...

02/05/2006: CPT Rover wins Tempest Warm Up 2006

The first competition of the year has been nailed by CPT Rover. Although it was not easy , for CM Impulse has put up a good fight, getting too close to the first place. LCM Gward came up in third place, also with an excellent score...Congratulations to all of you, and, especially, to CPT Rover, who earned an IS-BW!!!

- Lt. Colonel Daniel Bonini, who reccomends you to come HERE if you want to take a look at the old Tempest website.