Blah, I was just messing around looking for my lost bottle of Polish Polonaise Cherry (everyone who saw suspicous bottle similar to the one in the attachement is asked to contact me ASAP and under no circumstances don't try the content of the bottle (It's all mine, mine! <devilish laugh mode: on> hahahahaha! <devilish laugh mode: off> and suddenly somoene grasped my throat and shouted:
"Ya ol' drun'k, what are ya doin' in my goddamned office?! I guess you're not the Twi-lek girl that Dan offered me for beign in my flight, so I have no choice but to test my new shiny scatter pistol on you!"
Then I quickly said "Oh no, please don't kill me, I've got a story for you!"
- What kin'd offf (hep) story, you little punk, huh?!
- I will tell you, but please, don't kill me!
- Blah blah, okey, you've got 5 minutes.
- That's less than my mother needs to walk from one room to another. Tell me, have you ever heared the tragedy of Darth Ethanolius the drunk?"
- No, not at all.
- I'm not surprised, you won't hear that story from any Imperial Officer. It's an old, long forgotten Ithorian legend. Darth Ethanolius was a dark Ithorian lord, the only one with a straight neck ever born. He was so powerful and one day so drunk that he discovered a way to create... happiness.
- He could actually make people happy?
- The alcohol is a way to many new discoveries, some considered to be "revolutionary". During his sick researches, he invented a method to destilate booze out of any known vegetable.
- Oh my gosh oh my gosh! Where is he now, what happened to him?
- After a lot of tests made on himself, he became so drunk and so wasted that eventually it led him to death. Fortunately, before his death he told his apprentice everything he knew. Ironic heh? He could make people happier, but not himself.
- What the?!
- Sooourry (hep). Tell me, is it possible to learn that power?
- ... Not from Ethanolius anymore.
- So why the hell are you wastin' my very own time huh?! That was 5 minutes, wasn't it?
- No, wait! Are you going to kill me?
- I would certainly want to If I'd been able to aim precisely!
- I know you would, but please, use my knowledge, I beg you! Only through me you can achieve greater power than any man in the fleet. A power to stop all-time-coming bills from cantina!
- Now we're talkin' ! I will do whatever you want, just tell me how to make the booze! I can't live without Her.
- Good.. Goooood.. Learn the power of mighty destilation...
- To destilate booze out of anything is a power only one achieved. But if we work together, I know we can discover the secret. Henceforth, I must stay in your squad.
- Yes, please stay with us! I know you will make yourself at home here...
- All right all right.
- Now let me show you, what my liquour cabinet can reveal to you.
That's the whole sad story, I know it may be shocking for some of you, but It is true (mostly :P)
Trully, I'm happy to be with ya all, Tempests!